Our Story
by Lady Genjutsu
Summary: Rikku and her thoughts about one guardian in particular... Aurikku, spoilers


1 Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy X or Auron or Rikku blah blah blah.  
  
2  
  
3  
  
4 Our Story  
  
  
  
It happened so long ago…  
  
But I can still vividly remember the story that could never be written…  
  
*******  
  
It was dusk, and we sat solemnly around the fire. We knew that this would be the last night of my cousin Yuna's pilgrimage. That, come the morning, we would travel across the Zanarkand ruins to obtain the "Final Aeon", symbolizing the end of her journey… the end of her life…  
  
I held my head grievously. Tidus and I had been trying so hard to come up with a way to save her and still kill Sin, but the task seemed impossible. Regardless, Tidus' never faltering high spirits and confidence had given me the strength to continue as Yuna's Guardian. Although, I did not find strength in Tidus alone…  
  
I looked up and past the fire to where the oldest and most mysterious of the Guardians sat across from me. He too, although he never knew it, had kept me going, in more ways than one.  
  
On the battlefield, he had saved my life on more than one occasion. I closed my as I recalled today's incident, that had only happened a few hours earlier, on Mt. Gagazet.  
  
It had been in the heat of battle, a great demonic beast had been lunging and at me repeatedly, tearing away at me until I was but a bloody mess, having crumbled to the ground, defenceless. The others were preoccupied with their own problems, We were seriously outnumbered by the fiends.  
  
So the brute dove at me, gleaming fangs aiming for my throat, I was pretty sure it was curtains for me. I shut my eyes tight in preparation for the fatal blow- but it never came…  
  
Coming back to the present, I gazed discreetly back to the scarlet- clad Guardian. It was he who had saved me, intervening at the last second, leaving his own battle to take the blows of the fiend for me. Although he by no means emerged from the battle unscathed, he had taken the damage with incredible stamina, beheading the thing as soon as he had the opportunity. Bewildered by the experience, and to busy afterwards healing the others and myself, I hadn't had the chance to thank him for it.  
  
I rose and walked casually over to where he sat, and re-seated myself beside him. He continued to look at the fire, and did not acknowledge my presence, not that he usually did, unless I said something to him first. I looked up at him, trying to find appropriate words of gratitude. Unfortunately I became preoccupied with his handsome features, his rust- brown eye barely visible over his dark sunglasses, staring demurely at the fire. I sometimes wondered if he wore the glasses in attempt to hide his bad eye, where a long scar ran across it. Although I now think that couldn't have been the reason, for he never paid any special attention to his appearance in any other instance, his hair was always loosely tied at the back, and though ten years earlier it was jet-black, it was now streaked with grey. I knew he was only in his mid-thirties, and it made me wonder what kind of trauma and stress the man had gone through to look so much older. However, this only made him more alluring to me, I think.  
  
At any rate, it was too late before I realized I was staring at him.  
  
"Yes?" He asked finally, shifting his gaze from the fire to me, perhaps finally becoming annoyed with me.  
  
"Uh…" I looked away. "I just wanted to um… thank you for savin' me earlier today…" Since I had been too busy staring at him, and not thinking of what to say, the impromptu words came out sounding lame and childish.  
  
There was no reply for a moment, as I felt his gaze on me, and I wondered if he was just going to look back at the fire when he said, "You should not have taken on such a large fiend on your own."  
  
"I know…" I replied, looking down at my feet. He always did that to me… made me feel like I was just a weak Al Bhed girl, unworthy of being a Guardian.  
  
He turned his gaze away from me, and I assumed that the conversation had ended. But I felt foolish, and I wanted to say something- anything that might give me some dignity. I racked my brains for something to say, but no words came, and so I sat in silence.  
  
"You should rest," He said finally, "We have a long day tomorrow."  
  
And that was it. I nodded dumbly, and I crawled back over to my previous place opposite of the fire to him and lay down.  
  
Even with my back to him, I could feel his solitary eye piercing me, analyzing me… I wondered what he thought of what he saw. Did he see a weak, annoying Al Bhed girl? Or did he see what I wanted him to see?  
  
Probably the former of the two… I thought to myself.  
  
What did I want him to see?  
  
I won't lie. The man had always fascinated me. At first, I thought he was only a cruel and bitter man, but in a brief period of time I began to see his wisdom and strength. He was both the brains and the brawns of the party, his gigantic sword diminishing all those who challenged him.  
  
I remembered how distracted I had become the first time I fought beside him. He had removed his arm from his coat, exposing it to my view for the first time. He had strong, muscular arms, and I would watch how they would tense and shift each time he struck an enemy.  
  
I'm not entirely sure, but perhaps it was then when I began to go from finding him fascinating, to finding him irresistibly seductive.  
  
I knew it was wrong. I was a girl of sixteen, and he was well into this thirties. I had, by this point, been able to convince myself that the feelings I had for him were only those of a silly adolescent crush.  
  
Yet, there I was, lying by the fire, thinking about him instead of getting the much needed rest that was required for tomorrow's long journey.  
  
So, it was on those thoughts that I was finally able to tear my mind from him and fall asleep.  
  
I'm not sure how long I had been asleep, but when I awoke, the stars were out and the blazing fire had died down to a few burning embers.  
  
There was a cool breeze and I sat up, rubbing my bare arms and legs.  
  
I looked around. Lulu was asleep with her head upon her stuffed moogle. Wakka was snoring up against a rock. Kimahri lay some 10 yards away, his massive form rising and falling peacefully, reminding me of a slumbering wildcat. Tidus and Yuna lay side by side, her head resting upon his shoulder.  
  
But where was he?  
  
I looked up at the small cliff a few feet from camp. Against the full moon was his silhouette, standing upon the cliff, overlooking the Zanarkand ruins.  
  
No longer groggy, but fully alert, I stood up and climbed up the small cliff, approaching him from behind.  
  
Without turning, he knew I was there.  
  
"Why are you up?" He asked, his voice void of emotion.  
  
"I was cold." I replied, unable to think of a better reason. Then after a moment I added, "Why are you?"  
  
He turned his head slightly to the left, looking at me out of the corner of his good eye. He did not reply.  
  
I placed myself beside him, and surveyed the landscape, as he had a few moments before.  
  
"So sad…" I said suddenly.  
  
He looked over at me inquiringly.  
  
"This… Zanarkand. It must have been so big… All those people who must have died then…" I continued, expanding on my previous comment.  
  
"Their troubles have long since ended…" The older man responded, and I thought I could detect bitterness in his voice. Maybe even envy.  
  
"But… to think," I resumed, in a whisper, "All those people. Perfectly happy at one moment and then- boom! It's all gone… forever… Yevon… I don't care how many people of Spira say otherwise, he's EVIL!"  
  
I clasped a hand over my mouth, regretting I had said it. That statement had come out a little too loudly, and although my companion was not as stiff about Yevon as some, like Wakka, I hoped that I hadn't crossed the line.  
  
To my surprise, he chuckled briefly, a low, rough sound that I rarely heard from him. I looked at him in a little baffled, but he merely nodded his head once and said nothing.  
  
"But… Why do we all have to suffer?" I found myself continuing a moment later.  
  
"Such is the fate of Spira." He replied coolly.  
  
I wave of anger overcame me. "How can you say 'such is the fate'? Do you know how many people die every day? Or how many things that those people left undone, left unsaid, because of Sin?!?!"  
  
He looked at me squarely in the eye at this, and I looked away. That statement had come without my biding it, and I hoped he would not reproach me.  
  
He stared a moment longer, as if daring me to look him in the face again. When I didn't, he shifted his gaze and said, "Sin or no, death is still an unpredictable thing… You can't blame Sin for things 'left undone' or 'unsaid'…"  
  
That sentence seemed to stir something within me. Perhaps it was because I knew the pilgrimage was almost over, or maybe it was because I had chided myself for never telling him how I felt, but I was now struggling with myself, temped to tell him what I had been leaving unsaid, but too afraid of his reaction, or even the lack of one.  
  
He was beginning to descend the cliff, apparently finished conversing with this adolescent individual. However, a feeling within me would not allow the conversation to end at that.  
  
"Auron!" I called softly to him.  
  
He paused at his name, and turned slowly back towards me, silently awaiting for me to continue.  
  
I swallowed, my heart throbbing against my chest. "We… could die at any time…" I whispered.  
  
Auron merely raised a brow, as though confused with my sudden hesitancy.  
  
"Who knows what will happen when we reach the final aeon tomorrow… But for some reason I have the feeling that… I might not see you again."  
  
He still remained silent.  
  
"And there's… something… uh… Auron, I want to tell you something…" This was it… What was I doing? How could it be true? How could I be so sure? I was only aware that my logic was no longer in control of my mind.  
  
I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as he waited patiently for me to continue, and after a moment I found the courage to meet that intense, bronze-colored eye.  
  
I'm not sure how long we stood there like that, just looking at each other. There was a silent conversation occurring; one that the mortal ear could not detect. I said nothing, but he heard the words nonetheless. His face showed no emotion, yet I felt it.  
  
I felt the need to speak, "Auron, I-"  
  
"No." He intervened simply. "No words, Rikku…" There seemed to be a sorrow in his voice that I had never before detected from him.  
  
I thought I understood. Auron was an honourable man, not one to taint the innocence of a teenage girl. I thought he felt I had only an adolescent fascination with him. And yet, for the first time ever, I knew that wasn't true, and I tried to tell him so.  
  
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words found their way out, and my vision blurred as my eyes became misted with emotion.  
  
Auron stepped in close- and I began to shake as he leaned over and I felt his breath against my ear when he spoke.  
  
"I'm… an unsent Rikku…"  
  
I stood there in shock as the last piece of the puzzle slid into place, hundreds of things being explained at once. Auron… was dead… He was on borrowed time. I squeezed my eyes shut. A strangled sob escaped from within me as the cold truth illuminated my mind. I tried in vain to calm the overwhelming despair from rising within me, and tears fell freely, and I only hoped I wouldn't wake the others below with my sobbing.  
  
I did not lean into him. I understood his ways, and I knew it would diminish his dignity for him to let a girl sob against him.  
  
But I felt his hand grasp my shoulder. Goosebumps shot down my bare arm at his touch. I forgot to breathe as he took hold of my other shoulder and gently drew me unresistingly into him. Even as my head touched his chest, I could not believe the seemingly emotionless man had pulled me into a comforting embrace. Warmth spred across me as I breathed him in, my sobbing ended and I was lulled by his calm and steady breathing.  
  
How long I spent in his embrace I'm not certain; when I finally pulled away, my eyes were dry, although I was trembling from being so close to him.  
  
His arms fell to his sides as he let go of me, but neither of us moved, the distance between us, only a few inches.  
  
I was looking down, afraid that if I were to look him in the face, I would begin to cry again.  
  
The seconds passed, and I began to wonder why he hadn't moved; was he looking at me? What was he thinking right now?  
  
My curiosity got the best of me, and gathering up my courage, I slowly lifted my eyes to his face.  
  
He was indeed looking at me, almost as though he were contemplating something. After a moment he closed his eye. He brought his hand up to his face and grasped his dark glasses, slowly removing them for the first time since I'd known him.  
  
He opened his eye, regarding me with quiet resolve.  
  
My vision was once again impaired by the new wave of tears that were clouding my eyes, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to rid myself of them so I could look upon the man before me.  
  
But as I closed them, I felt him draw nearer, and I trembled for then I felt his lips brush hesitantly against mine. It was a moment before I was able to react, his light, warm kiss paralysing my body.  
  
The current circumstance left me, and I was overcome with desire and ecstasy. I lifted my head so our lips could meet fully, and in doing so he touched my face lightly, while his other arm curled around my waist.  
  
We kissed softly, the minutes passing unnoticed. I felt a burden being lifted from me. Even though we could never be, we had expressed ourselves finally, if only this once.  
  
And as I was vaguely aware of this, I tried to burn every moment into my mind, and I was successful, for I still remember the warmth of his breath, and his smooth muscular arm as I ran my hand across his shoulder.  
  
I think, had time permitted it, we would have continued for hours, but the growing light now peaking from beyond the horizon was becoming all too apparent, and when we heard movement from below that suggested someone was about to awaken, we reluctantly drew apart, and headed back down to camp, not a word spoken between us.  
  
And once again, the seven of us sat around a dying fire, although now, it was dawn instead of dusk, and we would be leaving for Zanarkand soon. Once again, I held my head to contemplate how I would save my cousin. Yet, the atmosphere didn't seem so dreary as it had the evening before… It was as though I somehow knew everything was going to be okay.  
  
Tidus rose suddenly, drawing me from my thoughts. He walked over to Yuna, and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He then made his way up the rocks to the ledge where Auron and I had been only a short while ago. We looked up at him silently as he gazed out at the ruins of the machina city.  
  
"Listen to my story…" He began suddenly. "This… May be our last chance…"  
  
And then he began, and we all listened. I remember, at one point, I glanced over at Auron, as silent and cryptic as ever, and I thought sadly that although we would all know Tidus' story… No one would ever know ours…  
  
For our story was one that had to end before it could begin.  
  
  
  
*********  
  
Author's Stuff: Sorry, that was a little more depressing than I wanted it to be…and sorry if the ending was lame. Was it okay? It is sooooo hard to write convincing Aurrikus! Yeah, I know Rikku's narration seems out of her character, but hey, she's older and more mature in this story right? Anyway, this is my first ever ffX fic, so I hoped you liked it. All the amazing Aurrikus on fanfiction.net inspired me! Anyway, please review, and please don't flame me, or I'll cry! 


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